The slightly less tedious Part 2 of the Peach Days Parade!

As I recall, we left off in the middle of the Peach Days parade with nerds in get-ups that, while extremely cool-looking, also looked extremely sweaty. Forget not being able to see anything in a stormtrooper helmet, imagine dehydration setting in by the time you reach Forest Street in the parade because you’ve sweated out 2 litres of water. (Ooo, European spelling, that makes me sophisticated.) Let’s pick up where we left off!

Another example of great (read: cheap) advertising at work. So, Gillies Funeral Chapel, simply because you own (or better yet, borrowed) a convertible and slapped a magnet on the side, that makes you qualified to take care of my loved ones if they join the choir invisible?

Really, was this supposed to impress me? If you want to see REAL funeral home advertising in action, check this out.

Don’t worry, his momentum kept him moving forward – he did not, as it would appear in this picture, slam face first into the side of the trampoline.

It’s not quite the Olympics, but for the back of a semi-truck in the parade of a small town festival, it’s not shabby at all. Do you think their insurance is insanely high for this event? By the way, we were towards the end of the parade route. Why didn’t that girl in the front warm up and stretch out earlier? Maybe she arrived late?

For those of you who didn’t know me in high school, first of all, I’m sorry. It was a real treat for everyone. Back on topic though, since some of you didn’t know me, I had a real rivalry going against some of the Madrigals. They’re the elite singers of Box Elder High School and generally (at least from my high school point of view) considered themselves above some (all) of us mere mortals.

Of course, all of that is in the past now and I’m sure the Madrigals who I went to school with have grown up to very nice people who I would probably quite enjoy hanging out with. However, I’m still doing quite well at my goal of never hearing the Madrigals sing again (the last time was Lindsie’s graduation, and I swear it shall be the final time!) Even though I’ve put all of that in the past, that doesn’t stop me from mentioning how stupid these current Madrigals looked in the parade.

Their sign says, “Out of this world” which I suppose means they dressed up like a bunch of morons and some of them painted themselves silver. When your parade production values are lower than Napoleon Dynamite’s, you know you look like a bunch of goons.

Not even Vice-President Cheney could mistake that Peach Queen for a deer in the forest!

I know I’ve seen “Uncle” Milty before (I’m glad he’s not really my uncle.) I know I have – he must have been in the parade for ages – but I’ve never noticed how . . . creepy he was before. Really, I’m getting the jibblies just looking at this picture. Why anyone would take advantage of this great offer to advertise with him is beyond me. Nothing brings the customers coming in like someone who gives the carnies a run for their money in the “I scare small children department.”

Here’s the back of Crazy “Uncle” Milty’s tractor train. I’m happy to say that no parent (sanity and common sense DOES still exist in this world) let their kid ride in Milty’s train – he was forced to recruit unwilling minions of the stuffed animal variety and strap them in to prevent even these inanimate objects from running away. Since Bren hates clowns, I think I will get her stamp of approval on this comment. By the way, what the heck is Crumps? A bakery? A factory? A house of ill repute? One more thing to investigae Milty about. . .

This is the Civic Improvement club float. Sadly, the first shot I took at a better angle didn’t turn out. Nothing says “civic improvement” like a giant beaver hovering above a couple of old, elderly, aged, mature, nice women on folding chairs.

I’m thinking that being the Arby’s mitt would be really hot. It is a pretty darn good costume though. Oh, maybe next year I should “borrow” the Husky Mascot suit from school and march in the parade! Maybe I could get in fights with other mascots. I bet I would win . . .

Finally, we end our parade reporting on another classic, annual entry. Square dancers – or are they cloggers? Perhaps more importantly, does it really matter?